and the leaves that are green turn to brown

Hi blog. wow. my last update freaks me out - that doesn't look very appetizing anymore.

So I can't sleep... what's new. But good news is I can steal one of our neighbor's internet so if you're lucky and the sleepless nights continue; there might just be some awesome random late night ramblings from Rachel.

I guess I'm supposed to update stuff?

+ I met Miss Molly yesterday - another miracle of life moment I got to witness firsthand (trust me, very firsthand.... and up close and personal ewwwwww) It's so freakin wierd Hannah is married with two young kids. It's so strange the way of life. Without her being knocked up in the first place she'd probably be partying it up in CA and doing whatever - not to sound mean. And I'd still be in CA running around in circles with no new adventures and no new sights to see.

+ Start Nursing school in January if everything goes accordingly... which with my luck it won't. I've got everything done for my bachelors except for the actual nursing courses go figure. It's not my fault the 'man' decides to be dramatic about needing nurses but allow every one of the nursing schools to have a 2 year waiting list. It's disgusting. It's been a long time coming.... I did decide to do the travelling thing and relax and make lots of money (haha) causing it to be pushed aside but now that I've been back in Tulsa for about 7 months it's about time I take care of business.

+ Love Love Love and more Love. Can't get enough of Love in yo lyfe. 1 1/2 years and still going strong baby, i love you! HAHA umm no, I don't talk like that... don't worry.

+ I moved in with my mom about a month ago to save money for school. Wierd. Nuff' said.

+ Ooh I get my 'inheritance' early next month or whatever you want to call it from my G-ma (no she didn't die, don't worry). Let's just say that every amount of money I owe to anyone in the world will be paid. Let the true 'burden free' hippie life begin!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woo hoo!!! except for my school when I'm done :(

+ So I started a 'bucket list' about 2 months ago and I am freakin motivated, determined, and focused on that thing. I've already checked off a few things including:

Buying a scooter
Riding a 'riding' lawn mower to mow the grass
Learning how to read music
Learing to play piano...

On a side note: I was all excited about buying a keyboard today but I didn't realize how expensive they are until I was going to get one. I figured out that I need a digital piano keyboard with all 88 keys if I'm not mistaken... and to also make sure I have the pedals to connect so when it comes to playing a real piano I won't be too unfamilar. Soooo keyboard will have to wait until July 15th but I have been going to Barnes and Noble on my lunch breaks and reading 'how to play piano for dummies' and 'how to read music for dummies' or it's another one like that hahahaha I love those books with a passion. But I feel like my fingers are burning to play the piano. It's the same exact feeling I felt when I taught myself to play the guitar... this passion and this deep feeling knowing that I was going to be able to play that instrument as soon as I picked it up. I just understood it instantly. But hopefully this time, unlike the guitar, I'll keep moving forward with practicing instead of stopping at the 'comfortable' point..... where yeah I can play all these awesome Led Zeppelin songs haha ect but I didn't practice the scales and so on that would have made me way better than I am today.

It's funny because I'll be listening to piano music with my headphones at work and I'll type on the keyboard as if it's a piano, strange.

Stupid Andrew McMahon and your beautiful genius music. Why do you have to inspire me to play the piano so greatly that I'm willing to starve in order to buy sheet music? That may be a little far fetched but not too much. Oh and by the way Konstantine is on my bucket list, one day.

So there's about 28 other things on my bucket list that I have ideas for but most of them will take time.

I thought about doing a 'bucket list' album on my myspace or facebook but I thought about it and it's just too special for some stupid website like that. So I've just taken pictures of everything I've accomplished and I have this awesome photobook made of pure tree bark (perfect, I know) that I'm going to use as my official bucket list album. It's going to be awesome and one day I'll be able to pass it down. Oh yeah (like I really forgot), soooo.... I found out I can't have kids. This might seem strange to just throw out there on a stupid blog in the middle of nowhere but it's life and blogs are meant for life situations..... so there you go. I'll truly be a partial Brangelina now, it's fine with me. I kind of knew it in my heart all along, it's strange how God prepares you for things like that years and years before you put all the puzzle pieces together. Sometimes I do feel wierd like I'm less of a woman and sometimes I do have my sad moments.... like the thought of never being able to see my child with my nose, my eyes, my freckles. Wow, I'm crying right now as I typed that.... geez. But asian babies here I come!!!! so moving on now I guess.

ummmmm.... I'm feeling tired now. woo hoo!

It seems like I had something SO cool to write about but I guess I don't, that sucks.

I'm boring but I can honestly say that I enjoy life to it's fullest every day and that is a lot harder for most people than you think.

Peace and love.