loser

i'm getting sued by someone from an accident that was my fault that happened 3 1/2 years ago. my dad called me yesterday and said papers were served but another kind or whatever my dad could get. wierd. anyways, that guy's a loser. he walked away without a scratch and i was the one that got my shoulder messed up from it. and his car wasn't even totaled and mine was. sooo....... what a loser. he's probably trying to scrape up some extra change to save his house or something because the economy is so bad in CA right now. that's my theory at least. so i'll keep this updated the more i know.


i'm bored but not. i can do anything i want to during the day. i've been shopping and spending money but i feel too guilty doing it. i'll probably go back to barnes and noble today and read, i like to do that monday through friday so i can get a good spot to read. so i am kind of bored, but i think it's just bored o f mississippi. i'm ready to move on to the next state now. me and zee were talking about that last night. the job he's on now is going to last for 2-3 more months and he's gonna try to get sent to another state. i hope they don't send him on another job in MS. it would be southern MS which would be different but still.... there's a rumor about Colorado, i hope it's true! then i could go skiing all day!!! FUNNNNN. so zee is gonna start teaching me stuff since he got promoted at work so on the next job i can be his helper person. then we'd be getting 16,000 a month. booyah............. that would get us to our goal so much faster!

deplete bills + condo investment + another house investment + save save save = travel and live and other countries!!!

me and zee see the big picture, it's so great. so when we have bad days or work sucks for him we know what the big picture is and it makes things better.

i think everyone has a big picture in mind all the time. you think 'i just have to do this for this amount of time so this thing(marriage, promotion, retirement, kids, money) will happen later on'. but it's a scary thing that happens (that i've felt before) when you do the same thing over and over and over again without getting anything from that big picture. so you get in a rut that you can't get out of unless you stand up and make a move. i had to move to OK to do that, CA was leaving me in a rut doing the same old things with people who even when i went and visited a year later were the exact same people. which can be a good or bad thing. soo... anyways, my theory is that you have to find the balance between living for that big picture but not too much or you'll end up like my grandma and grandpa who worked for retirement. was on the brink of building their dream house on a ranch they already had bought but suddenly he was diagnosed with cancer and died i think 6 months later. and they spent their whole lives running toward a dream that they never got to touch. geeeesh, i learned so much from them and that situation when that all happened.

hope everyone out there is wonderful and enjoying life to it's fullest.

peace and love homies

Consider the odds, consider the obvious...

Question: Since i was born, with every person, no matter who they are, as soon i as i talk they zone out within 5 sec and most of the time interupt me with something meaningless to say like 'look at that bird, wow, what a cool bird. oh i'm sorry, go ahead- what were you saying'. yeah, like i really want to say a word now. some stupid bird just go your attention over me telling you my most personal details. i know not every person i've ever met has ADHD so am i really that boring? am i really that dull? no matter how boring another person might be or how cool some stupid 'bird' or whatever else is going on around us i ALWAYS stay tuned. i don't interupt and say something meaningless. i guess i just came to this realization that this sucks and it's hurting me really bad. it makes me feel like i'm dull, boring, used, and most of all- someone that says only unimportant things.

maybe this is the way it is in the world, not interupting with meaningless things to say is just a social norm that i live by. it's just sad to me because everyone does it to me (except maybe my dad), i'll listen to people talk forEVER and when i want to say something i can't talk for 5 sec without something bad happening. maybe i'm just a whiny baby, because i sure sound like one. but there might just be someone who one day reads this and knows for a fact that this happens to them too and i'll be that much less crazy. i really need to vent i think. i just want somebody who asks questions about me and wants to know stuff about me, who is so intrigued by me that they want to know more more more. not like obsessive but constantly intrigued. good ol' brandon boyd said it best, 'could you show me dear, something i've not seen? something infinitely interesting'. one day hopefully possibly i'll get what i'm craving.



wah wah wah, i'm such a poor innocent baby haha

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

YES, i look like an asian!!!!

Let's go out and dance darling....

welp, let's see.... i know i want to update but what do i want to talk about? how happy i am? yes, i will talk about that


i'm so freakin happy right now, life is great. no complaints here.

ummm i'm really excited to go visit oklahoma in two weeks. we're going to fly to houston, get our stuff out of storage, drive a u-haul to tulsa. put our stuff in the condo and get stuff we need of ours like winter clothes and such. zee's gonna fly back that day because he has to work but i'm gonna stay 5 more days to spend time with my favorite baby in the world and of course the fam. can't wait. the big plan is starting to take place. pay off the condo from my grandma and by then we'll have all of our bills depleted... then .... it's off to other countries! anywhere we want. and since they are building high-class expensive condos next to ours people are saying that we'll be able to charge 3 times as much rent and therefore: profit from renters goes to us to live on in other countries! and since my family lives right by the condo they'll make sure to keep an eye out for us. PERFECT! can't wait. sigh, it's so great to be with someone that wants to do exactly the same things as you. it's so relieving.

ummm what else is new? i'm still in byram, ms. it's like 10 miles away from jackson. jackson is pretty cool, they have a lot of beautiful government buildings and such. but we just found this other town called ridgeland right outside of jackson that is REALLY cool. well at least it's cool to us because it's civilized and has all the typical places, kinda like dos lagos in CA. it's just nice to have that close when you're out in the country haha.

ummmm all these rumors going around about me getting married in november, ummm no. probably not until early next year. we want to make sure we're stable and have enough money for some awesome honeymoon in some far off distant land. plus i would give enough warning to people i love in CA to make plans to come out. it's so wierd, before you find the one you want to marry you're all about the stupid traditional things (which I've never really been a big fan of) but when it's actually time to get married those things don't matter. if i could have it completely my way i'd just want me and zee and maybe a pastor under a tree in a field making our own union to each other before God. that's what it really is. we met two people while we stayed in a cabin at a lake who considered themselves husband and wife because they had taken a union under God and made vows to each other. they said they don't need a piece of paper and a white dress to say that they are one and not two. i thought it was very interesting. think outside the box people.


anyways...... i've been in hermit mode, haven't been exploring. i got a new sims expansion pack so i'm kinda a loner if you know me then you'll understand what sims does to me. it sucks because i keep wanting to visit jackson's old library and i'm scared we're gonna leave before i can do that.

i love you all, if there is anyone out there. heeelllloooo. is there anyone OUT thayre. pink floyd anyone? mmmm k bye

P.S. for those that call, i know already- my accent is really bad. stop being alarmed friends.